anothersunshine.com

I’m pissed off right now.

Even though I already saw this coming.

My mom knows I met Jake online. And she knows I’ve been seeing movies with him. Nothing wrong with that. He is harmless. Movie buddies, that’s all. She’s fine with me going out with him.

Anyway, I like Jake, he’s a nice friend so when the family camping came up, I decided I should invite him. My aunts and uncles had always encouraged me to bring friends when we have family parties and get togethers.. so I’m just doing what they asked. I thought my parents will come, so I thought it’s a good thing for them to meet my friend. Then I could tell them how I met him. Then they’d be caught offguard.. well just my dad.. but then they’ll see he’s a nice boy and a good friend and there really is nothing to worry about. But parents didn’t come. I figured I’ll have to tell dad next time.

So yes.. a little while ago, my mom asked if Jake was my boyfriend. I said no, I wanted to know why she was asking. She said that Auntie Susan talked to her about talking to me during the camp coz of this incident that I was gonna share his tent. I know, it was stupid I did that, but my cousins were kicking me out of our tent and I also felt bad leaving him without company. So Auntie didn’t like the idea my cousins and I agreed on. I understood what she felt coz it was like what my mom felt and talked to me about when she had problems with my sister.. so I agreed to not do it anymore, and what we ended up doing was to invite him to share tent with us instead. Anyway, so Auntie told Mom about that, and now Mom talked to me about how being alone with him wasn’t a nice thing to do coz my Aunts and Uncles will think bad of me and she said that not all people are understanding like her. I told her I didn’t know and I wasn’t thinking about bad stuff so those “bad talk” ideas didn’t cross my mind and that my intentions were clean and without malice. I was only wanting to keep him company so he won’t feel like I’m dissing after I had invited him. Mom said that it will be hard for my dad (and his siblings) to understand it no matter how I explained. They’re so old fashioned. Especially dad who you can’t make to change his mind. Tsss.. that’s why I’m not close to my dad.. he never listens to what I say. Better to not talk to him.

Also, mom said that she didn’t mention to dad how I met Jake. I know the idea of how we met is hard to accept hehehe coz even I had a hard time to really digest it… plus with all the news about online predators and bad people. But I’m way over it now and all I know is I’m glad he and I became good friends.

I guess you have to be in my situation to understand what I’m saying. I mean, I have no friends except Stef and the girls, who are all Indonesian and are very much close to each other. Do you know how that makes me feel? They are really nice girls and I’m happy they’re making me a friend, but I still can’t help but feel like I’m the odd girl out. When they talk in their native tongue, I don’t know where I am anymore. It’s hard stuff, dude!!! So at least with Jake, he and I speak only in English. And that I’m not out with a bunch of his friends who I am not sure if will make me feel as the girl who tags along… like how I sometimes feel with Stef’s group.

Okay.. what I’m saying is, I feel so different from the people here. Like I never fit in. And Jake is probably the closest to a bestfriend I have. There was Kristin but I started school and had less time for work so I rarely see her now. Right now.. I have no one but Jake.

Jesus, are they telling me that I shouldn’t hang out with the only person I am starting to feel comfortable with? Because we met online? Just when I’m starting to feel like I’m being my old self again after moving here?? hmm whyyy???

No. I won’t stop seeing Jake because he’s a cool friend. He makes me feel good and warm. haha, I don’t know if that makes sense. But anyway, it’s not like we hang out everyday. We’re being normal friends and I don’t see why my family should have any problems with that. Really, is there so much difference with a person you met online from one who is acquainted to an acquaintance or so? I know it is kind of weird, but it’s really possible to meet decent people. I’m online, and I’m decent.. see?

Yeah, I like being around him. It reminds me of the feeling I have when I’m with my girl friends back home. Yeah, those good weird feelings too. I don’t care that I found him online!! What matters is I found a good buddy. Right? That’s what he says too.

Plus, I get to shoot him for when I’m feeling all Ms.Photographer.. Yii!

Haha, I’ve been asking him if he had told his brother about me coz I was thinking he’ll have the same problems. I guess he doesn’t. =)