I went out last night with Jake, Josh and Sunshine… it was fun– I have to say that. I love going out with friends (no doubt) but I feel out of place sometimes. I’ll get to why later. Anyway, we saw Horton Hears a Who which is a fantastic movie! It’s funny and oh so cuuute! I love Katie, that litlle orange I’m-not-so-sure-what-she-is odd furball. I loved the scene where she was describing her lil speck world and she mentions about ponies and rainbows and pooping butterflies and later made this crazy look as she backed into the bushes. She’s so cute and strange, that’s why I love her.
Found the clip:
We went to dinner afterward where I had a delicious rice meal and strawberry lemonade. MmMM! So we were eating and talking and then they started talking about being different and diversity and all that and I know exactly what they mean but it is not the same when you’re the one who’s different - when you’re that foreign kid. Hm, maybe not just being the foreign kid but being the odd one out. Like when I used to hang out with Stef and her friends. They obviously felt more comfortable talking in Indonesian which would cause me to not follow their conversations. They’ll translate for me whenever that happens, but it’s not the same as hearing and knowing what’s going on while it is happening. I had a lot of good fun moments with them though and I was really glad that they were being my friends. Sad that we lost contact because I forgot to save Stef’s number when I changed phones and I know a couple went back to Indonesia after they graduated. Plus, Stef’s maybe super busy with work right now or went to live with her brother in Florida. Oh well, it was good while it lasted. =)
So yeah, Jake, Josh and Sunshine were talking about befriending people of different ancestry, not being judgmental and the usual “we are all alike inside” talk… but my mind just started to wander off. It’s not exactly off topic but I had my own thoughts about it which mainly centered around me. How I’m sitting there with three white guys, and I’m not even sure if it’s polite to refer to them as white. I hear it all the time though that’s why I’m using it. But anyway, so I’m there, the odd one out again. Alright, I know it’s not uncommon because Seattle is pretty diverse… but like I said.. it feels different when you are the different one. I’m not complaining or anything, it’s just that it makes me feel out of place sometimes. I know that it is something within my control, to not feel that way. I understand that everybody is the same. But there are other things to consider which I only “fully” realized after moving here.
There is culture. Although the Philippines is a lot westernized and I can say I’m not strictly traditional, there still are things that I need to work on.. like consider how different, or how similar things are between my now 2 new worlds. HAHA… that sounds funny. I do live in 2 worlds don’t I? But yes, I have to mature in only one. I have to be the one to adjust here in the States and not the people to me. I am in their country so I need to be the one shaping myself to fit in.
Another is language. Although hanging out with people who speak English is a ton easier from when I hung out with Stef and her friends… I still get problems. Sometimes I keep myself from talking because I know I mispronounce words and there are times I panic and can’t form my sentences right even though my brain knows it very well. And grammar. Jeesh… growing up in the Philippines and having this mindset that people will laugh at and mock you if you don’t use the proper grammar is not helpful at all!!! Well, I guess it is because it pushes you to be better, but it also makes you very insecure. I don’t think Jake laughs at me, or anyone for that matter, but I can’t help thinking it. Plus, the feeling of not being able to express what I really want or feel is frustrating. I end up stuttering or resort to cutting my sentences short. But I comfort myself thinking that there are things that even in Tagalog, I probably would end up explaining to someone just as bad. Hah! And I mess up talking in my mother tongue and no one seems to mind, not too much. So… it’s okay to mess up my English too.. right? Hehe!
Yeah.
I run on a Mac and Camino.
Chuck, Heroes, Kath & Kim
Grey's Anatomy, Life on Mars
CSI
Seinfeld 
First, that orange creature is cute! Funny look she made when she went into the bushes….Anyway, I know what you mean. It also happens here, anyone can be the odd one out. When I am among my friends from high school, I am the “morena” beauty haha, I just had to add beauty
You know how people here define beauty as someone with a lighter skin, so imagine how insecure I was when I intro them to my other friends and they would instantly think their the beautiful ones. There was even a time when the guy I liked that I thought liked me too, after meeting my friend, pursued her instead of me 
I wanna see that movie. Dr. Suess is my hero. That yellow fluff IS cute.
That’s kinda weird that those dudes talk about that kinda stuff, I think it would make me feel awkward too but knowing me I’d definitely say something.
Heck, I’m American and I mess up english words all the time! it’s funny, because some words I say make me sound like I have a southern accent, and I’m from Michigan! I think I get it from my dad.
Don’t feel like you have to fit in with Americans! Sheesh! “BE YOURSELF, BE YOURSELF, BE YOURSELF!”
VERY interesting post topic.
I feel like this almost everyday… being surrounded by white people who often find me the weird one out.
I live in a district where culture is limited. so it’s even MORE obvious that I’m different than the majority rule.
TOTALLY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
The orange thing is cute, “in a weird sort of way”. haha. Haven’t watched a movie for a while now. You’d think I’d watch a lot of them since I never got to watch a movie when I was there. hehehe
Anyway, syempre nakakarelate ako sa’yo ate sarj. hehe. Pati yung sa pagenglish. Hehe. Kapag sinusulat naman natin madali lang. Pero kapag yung sasabihin mo on the spot, parang mali mali yung nasasabi natin. Parang ganun. Hindi naman kase ko lumaki sa bahay na nageenglish yung mga tao para magusap. HEHE. Pero ganun talaga eh. We have to deal with it. Atleast nakakaintindi at nakakapagsalita tayo ng english. Heh
Well, it sounds like you had fun! I’ve been wanting to see that movie for a while now, lol.
I TOTALLY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!
My boyfriend is Cambodian and I live with him in his parent’s house, go with him to Khmer parties, visit his family with him, etc. and I always feel like I’m the oddball because I’m the only white person. I know I shouldn’t feel that way and when I talk about it with him, he tells me that they don’t look down on me because I’m white, they consider me equal, if I was black, then they’d look down on me and whenever he says that, it always makes me laugh and feel better but I still feel that way inside.
I can deff relate to this topic. I’m friends with a lot of… non-Filipinos and this always happens to me! Sometimes they’d think I’m a lil bitchy or something cuz I just sit there and listen to what they’re talking about. But then my friends have their way of making me feel comfy about those things. I do feel like the odd one out, but I try to ignore the feeling as much as possible so I can have fun too.
Minsan din natatawa ako, kasi hindi ko masabi yung point ko (in English) and when I try to say it in my head (in Tagalog) ang hirap din palang i-explain. Haha. Kaya minsan sinasabi ko nalang.. “Nevermind.” hahaha.
Yeah, we do need to adjust to their lives. Sobrang hirap saken yun in the beginning, I moved here kasi when I was 14… the age when you’re trying to fit in with everybody and stuff. Eh, hello, fit in and adjusting ang ginagawa ko. Whew, hirap. Pero eventually naka adjust na din ako and I seem like I fit in pretty well naman.
Ganyan lang talaga minsan, diba? Para ka naman di sanay!
Ingattt.
Cher: Interesting perspective. I guess I can see how you must feel… Especially with the cultural difference and all, but it’s beautiful that your bf’s family accept you.
hahaha ditto…
kahit yung barkadahan nina mike kahit puro asyano medyo mahirap din intindihin kasi mahilig sila sa slang tuloy nagmumukha akong tanga kasi kelangan pa nilang i-explain sa akin yung sinasabi nila. si ryan teacher ko sa pronunciation. niloloko pa ako minsan nyan. i gave him the right to correct my pronunciation. minsan pati grammar kinokorek nya..hahahah
i guess its really difficult if you’re the odd one out. sometimes i wish i was in another country though. start a new life and just be unknown to the people around you. you get to be a clean slate ready to be whatever you want. at same time, i think its really different. hard, in fact to be in that situation. pero tama yan, be optimistic in that circumstance! tignan mo pati ako nainspire mo sa sinabi mo about making grammatical errors.
Hindi ko pa ririnig yang movie, pero mukhang maganda nga, ang cute ng yellow na ano bayan? para syang bola. ang cute nya.
Anyways, tama ka dyan eh sa mga grammar na yan, yung english na yan, kapag nag rerecite ako sa school, start ako ng englisg biglang nagtatagalog nalang, ang hirap kasi english or minsan tagalog ang hirap nyang iexplain or i expound, minsan kahit kausap ko mga friends ko, nahihirap pa din silang intindihin ako, buset nga eh! kahit itagalog mo pa,
culture shock ba yun? hindi jk. lang. i guess kaya mo na fefeel yang shock its because dahil sa culture differences, dont worry masasanay ka din nyan
is that a blue carebear?
i love going out din… hehehe… napanood ko na ang horton at nakakatawa talaga siya… hehehe
favorite ko din siya. haha.